Why I hate my life now.. but will one day probably miss it..

So I feel like I have lived long enough on this earth to realize you should not wish your age away at any age.. the old adage the grass is not always greener on the other side.. you know that shit.. (unless you really are 22, nothing is better then 22 or 8... both great years).... So I vaguely remember wishing in college  for my life to just start... (effects of alcohol I suppose) 
and wanted to just get out there and do it! Yah well I have been "doing it" for 5 years now and shit just ain't that great.. Sure I have the money now to drink to my hearts content, no longer need a roommate to help pay the rent, and have outgrown the whole club scene (unless I am feeling really frisky.. but then I see the IT'S MY FIRST TIME GETTING DRUNK CROWD AND THINK JESUS... who are these people) and leave when I am sufficiently drunk enough to forget why I shouldn't be eating 7-11 at 3am... oh and hangovers.. yah they hurt really bad now.. unless I am drinking gin or wine.. then I am fine...  But what am I doing.. all around me my friends are getting married and having babies.. or even having the marriages fall apart already... but at least they are doing something..  I went through my "marriage" very early in life by dating the same guy through high school and college (HORRIBLE IDEA) and while I still did experience single life in college (what we were on a break) dating just isn't' the same anymore...My concerns for dating someone are no longer.. he's hot... and then that's it.. I think, does he have a good job ( let's be real I would never date a guy without a job.. loser town) does he have kids (nope not going there) does he have aspirations (making more money) does he like food (loath picky eaters) does he like to do stuff.. maybe I am picky, but it's really hard now.. I have come across so many guys I am like "omg you are so fun and nice.. but you make no money.. and you probably never will"... I have been working through the whole "I may be the main bread winner thing" but it's really hard when that is not how you were raised and you really don't like having to do things.. like show up to work and care... but what is going on.. also now I use to look at Face, Teeth, Clothes.. now it's Wedding Ring, Face, Teeth, Clothing Brand..

lets see the hands boys..

 that's a lot to get in from my blurry gin vision in a few seconds.. (I mean I could just stare and analyze but that's kinda creepy).... everything is more difficult now, paying bills.. I have tons of bills and some that don't allow the set up of automatic pay HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO RMEBER ALL THOSE DATES DO I LIVE IN COMMUNNIST RUSSIA!!! I may not over withdraw my account anymore but I am still verging on poverty the first pay check of the month.. so it's not like I have crawled my way that far out of the poor college student hole..

I also now have to care about my credit.. which I don't even want to talk about, it gives me a vodka cringe( you know... because you have to drink it straight when assessing your credit situation).. there are so many more factors in life now you have to care about.. up until 25 I was really coasting along, drinking every night rolling out of bed and then 26 happened and It started to hurt.. and at 27 now I just want to go home and sit in a bathtub with wine.. I also have been single for 3 years dating people on and off and I do kinda want a boyfriend.. really just some one to do stuff with, while I did move away from home and don't have friends I can just call up which may account for that feeling.. it doesn't even  really matter anymore because they were all  married now, or have significant others who they had to tote along.. like I am not bitter about being  single and in no way would want to be where they are but loosing your group of friends is something you deal with in your late 20's as well.. things change.. you start getting invites to kids birthday parties.. and your whole summer is spent going to weddings and bridal showers and bachelorette parties.. and other forced social interactions with people when you have to be nice..  With all of that said I know at some point in my life I will look back and be like man I miss coming home to an empty house with nothing to do.. or I wish I had weekend were I just drank all weekend and slept on Sunday.. but it's hard to imagine my life being any different... or life even getting better... LIKE WHAT IF COLLEGE WAS IT.. like they say it is.. am I on the downward slide into mediocrity.. 10 yeas away from soccer


This is frowned upon at kids parties.. LAME

games, and princess themed birthday parties THAT ARE NOT FOR ME!!Like.. why would I wish my late 20's away now.. it's because it's hard.. and for a single late 20 something life is full of the unknown right now.. and part of you wants to hurry up and get there and the other part is like hold the fuck on..  I look at my friends who are married I am not jealous but I think that's pretty cool.. I look at my friends who have kids and I am like F THAT NOISE.. so where do I really want to be... My career now is great and I travel  which everyone is like "AWESOME" well I only get to see what my clients want to see and that's it.. and event planning is nothing to wish on someone.. but I love it sometimes.. but even with this I need to get back into grad school, I need to get these certifications to move up in my field but I am sooo over it.. why can't my skills be enough... people always want more.. which circles back to the grass isn't always greener....I guess what it comes down to is enjoying things in their due time.. and trying not to figure out when that due time is.. I need to relax and just enjoy this.. but it's really hard... and I need to drink more.. answer to everything...