For gods sake have an abortion!

Real talk.. If you don't have a job, if you don't have a trade, if you have no education, if you don't own your own car, if you can't pay your bills, if you don't have your own place.. WHY IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST.. would you think it would be ok to reproduce.. birth control is free.. Plan B is free.. just wear a condom like why  even risk it.. Life is hard enough trying to take care of yourself why bring a child into a world of poverty that they themselves might not ever be able to get out of... are you that stupid.. do you care that little about that child's life.. do you care that little about my tax money.. stop being trashy

I stand by the man who hits me... Because I am a dumb ass...

Ray Rice... You are a dick but with that said your wife is an idiot and an ass hole. Blaming the media for "ruining" your life and marriage, no dumb ass your husband  did that by punching you in the face. I am not blaming the victim here at all, I am all about supporting a woman who is in a bad relationship getting out but, let's be real that punch was not the first one! I am sorry I am cold hearted I guess but I don't feel bad for an woman whom gets hit more then once and stays. You can leave, you have friends you have shelters you have family you have the fucking police. Stop with the bullshit excuses here, like I am alone or you don't understand how deep you get in. Shut the fuck up and move your ass out or get him arrested! For the love of god what would you do if a stranger ran up on you and punched you... You would ummm call the police and or beat the shit out of that person, but the rules magically change when you are in a relationship with ....come on...
Yes I know I have not been in the situation, mostly because I have self worth and am not a total idiot when it comes to... Well living life but, I can't imagine how stupid you have to be to stay in that kind of situation., then try and make me feel bad for you?  Soon some  one will come out and say this is some kind of disease like alcoholism, no it's your inability to make good life choices! Stop with the "you don't understand" excuses I do understand, I understand you are an idiot pussy who doesn't have enough self worth to do anything about your life situation, that you got yourself into! You get hit on you walk away, if not then every hot after that you deserve for  being that stupid! Grow up take responsibility and do something!

Why I hate my life now.. but will one day probably miss it..

So I feel like I have lived long enough on this earth to realize you should not wish your age away at any age.. the old adage the grass is not always greener on the other side.. you know that shit.. (unless you really are 22, nothing is better then 22 or 8... both great years).... So I vaguely remember wishing in college  for my life to just start... (effects of alcohol I suppose) 
and wanted to just get out there and do it! Yah well I have been "doing it" for 5 years now and shit just ain't that great.. Sure I have the money now to drink to my hearts content, no longer need a roommate to help pay the rent, and have outgrown the whole club scene (unless I am feeling really frisky.. but then I see the IT'S MY FIRST TIME GETTING DRUNK CROWD AND THINK JESUS... who are these people) and leave when I am sufficiently drunk enough to forget why I shouldn't be eating 7-11 at 3am... oh and hangovers.. yah they hurt really bad now.. unless I am drinking gin or wine.. then I am fine...  But what am I doing.. all around me my friends are getting married and having babies.. or even having the marriages fall apart already... but at least they are doing something..  I went through my "marriage" very early in life by dating the same guy through high school and college (HORRIBLE IDEA) and while I still did experience single life in college (what we were on a break) dating just isn't' the same anymore...My concerns for dating someone are no longer.. he's hot... and then that's it.. I think, does he have a good job ( let's be real I would never date a guy without a job.. loser town) does he have kids (nope not going there) does he have aspirations (making more money) does he like food (loath picky eaters) does he like to do stuff.. maybe I am picky, but it's really hard now.. I have come across so many guys I am like "omg you are so fun and nice.. but you make no money.. and you probably never will"... I have been working through the whole "I may be the main bread winner thing" but it's really hard when that is not how you were raised and you really don't like having to do things.. like show up to work and care... but what is going on.. also now I use to look at Face, Teeth, Clothes.. now it's Wedding Ring, Face, Teeth, Clothing Brand..

lets see the hands boys..

 that's a lot to get in from my blurry gin vision in a few seconds.. (I mean I could just stare and analyze but that's kinda creepy).... everything is more difficult now, paying bills.. I have tons of bills and some that don't allow the set up of automatic pay HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO RMEBER ALL THOSE DATES DO I LIVE IN COMMUNNIST RUSSIA!!! I may not over withdraw my account anymore but I am still verging on poverty the first pay check of the month.. so it's not like I have crawled my way that far out of the poor college student hole..

I also now have to care about my credit.. which I don't even want to talk about, it gives me a vodka cringe( you know... because you have to drink it straight when assessing your credit situation).. there are so many more factors in life now you have to care about.. up until 25 I was really coasting along, drinking every night rolling out of bed and then 26 happened and It started to hurt.. and at 27 now I just want to go home and sit in a bathtub with wine.. I also have been single for 3 years dating people on and off and I do kinda want a boyfriend.. really just some one to do stuff with, while I did move away from home and don't have friends I can just call up which may account for that feeling.. it doesn't even  really matter anymore because they were all  married now, or have significant others who they had to tote along.. like I am not bitter about being  single and in no way would want to be where they are but loosing your group of friends is something you deal with in your late 20's as well.. things change.. you start getting invites to kids birthday parties.. and your whole summer is spent going to weddings and bridal showers and bachelorette parties.. and other forced social interactions with people when you have to be nice..  With all of that said I know at some point in my life I will look back and be like man I miss coming home to an empty house with nothing to do.. or I wish I had weekend were I just drank all weekend and slept on Sunday.. but it's hard to imagine my life being any different... or life even getting better... LIKE WHAT IF COLLEGE WAS IT.. like they say it is.. am I on the downward slide into mediocrity.. 10 yeas away from soccer


This is frowned upon at kids parties.. LAME

games, and princess themed birthday parties THAT ARE NOT FOR ME!!Like.. why would I wish my late 20's away now.. it's because it's hard.. and for a single late 20 something life is full of the unknown right now.. and part of you wants to hurry up and get there and the other part is like hold the fuck on..  I look at my friends who are married I am not jealous but I think that's pretty cool.. I look at my friends who have kids and I am like F THAT NOISE.. so where do I really want to be... My career now is great and I travel  which everyone is like "AWESOME" well I only get to see what my clients want to see and that's it.. and event planning is nothing to wish on someone.. but I love it sometimes.. but even with this I need to get back into grad school, I need to get these certifications to move up in my field but I am sooo over it.. why can't my skills be enough... people always want more.. which circles back to the grass isn't always greener....I guess what it comes down to is enjoying things in their due time.. and trying not to figure out when that due time is.. I need to relax and just enjoy this.. but it's really hard... and I need to drink more.. answer to everything...

I'mmmmm Back....

Quick note, mostly to solidify the idea to myself, I AM BACK. I will start writing again, like I use to, when something really pissed me off or just made me hehe for more than a few seconds. I can not tell you how many things I should have been writing about, instead of going on hate filled rampages on peoples facebook posts about gay marriage, gun control,conspiracy theorist, or arguing that drinking does in fact solve life's issues... Since my last post, I have become far more cynical, yet refined in my hatred to the outside world (anyone who is not me)... I feel the time has come for me to stop with the facebook fights ( i keep those people as my friends so I can see what they are up to, and to well... make me feel better about myself) and stick with faceless rants of which I enjoy so much. So to anyone who use to come here, or just found this page stick around. If my previous posts are of any indication of my overwhelming intelligence and lack of grace and class, and you are into that, there is more to come
                                             . 

Slutty white teeth

Keeping my teeth white
is my fav...

So I am all about haveing sparkling white teeth however I don’t like the taste of seaman ( yes seaman makes your teeth white).  And if any guy out there or some creepy home schooling chick ever wants to find out what man juice tastes like, swish around some Listerine Whiting mouth wash for a few seconds and you will understand why spitting is 85% more likely to occur then swallowing…  I wonder if the Listerine product research team ever got feedback from some chick like “ I loved the whitening effect from the mouth wash, and especially liked how the taste brought me back to many a college night!”.

and  natural flavors...

This also answered why 9 out 10 dentists only agreed on this product. The 10^th was a female dentist  who thought some horrible prank had been played on her, so she just dipped out after double dickering the CEO’s private bathroom.   I don’t know what the active ingredient is ( because I speak American, not Latin)  but I am pretty sure public pool water with a hint of sea salt were used for flavoring.  You know what I am talking about...

Christmas Time... In America



Yay Jewish Christmas stuff....

With Christmas only week’s away it seems only fitting to address the issues that arise while preparing ones self for the most widely celebrated Holiday in the world. The newest tradition for Christmas (in America at least, don’t know if other countries deal with things of this nature) is now the annual Politically Correct fueled fight over how to non-offensively celebrate your holiday. Every year some town is in an uproar because some overly sensitive d-bag (atheist, Christian Jewish alike) fights over how the town hall or some public building is decorated. A traditional manger scene is offensive to atheists and marginalizes the towns only Jewish Family, and generic non-denominational holiday decorations are offensive to Christians who think they are the only ones who can celebrate Christmas.



Sorry about that whole Jesus thing...



I just don’t get why seeing something as innocent as a manger scene or a Menorah invokes so much hate. When I see Christmas lights I don’t think “my god these people have killed Christ in Christmas” I think “oh sweet shiny stuff” likewise for when I see a giant lit up Menorah I don’t think (oh god these people killed Christ… oh wait…). The problem is not that people care so deeply about their holiday and it’s tradition it’s that people are assholes now a days and overly sensitive ones at that. Everyone is so stressed out from having to spend every dollar they have decorating their house to prove they can make the largest carbon footprint, 

Yup...

or buying a presents for secret Santa for that creepy dude in the office, or even spending all the money and time on this huge meal that takes 5 hours to make and only 15 minutes to eat and to hear about how dry the turkey was. Holidays are now only good for the excused gluttony and the excessive vacation time you can take without getting fired. These are the things that connect our Holiday celebrations. Lets look for common ground here, everyone likes to get shit housed on Christmas so maybe the symbol for non-denominational Christmas should be a drunk Santa

I hate my life as much
as I hate you...
which is alot...

or a really fat person since it’s socially acceptable to eat till you puke on Holidays. What about good old fashioned capitalistic Christmas where we don't care about anything but shaking the Christmas card to get the money out of it (Christans like money just as much as jews ok.. we jsut don't know how to save it like them), or waking up at the ass crack of dawn to open up presents. I for one also enjoy hooking up with some cynical dude with the ironic reindeer sweater I find at the office Christmas party. How about we all celebrate how much we like to torture our animals and dress them up for Holidays pretending that they too somehow love to celebrate this time of year ( wonder what religion my cats are...?)

I'm drunk, you look like santa.. shiz
about to get real

I think people enjoy marginalizing themselves now a days, unfortunately with the popularity and the deep rooted tradition in the Christmas Holiday people will undoubtedly find a reason to cause a problem. Everyone needs to put their big girl panties on and let others do and you do yourself… (well you know what I mean)

this was just too funny.... and deff not offensive

Someone has to much cheese in their taco....



How to keep a 187 classy



Once upon a time the concept of suing someone was taken as seriously as asking them to duel ( eh f you let’s shoot this out)It not only effected people finically but also called into question the very character of the person being sued. Flash forward 200 hundreds years and now it’s how poor,



I's gonna sue you's for givin
me dah runs taco bell



lazy, ignorant people get their money. Take that Fat ass d-bag who attempted to sue wackdonalds for making him fat, the kid was 300 plus and your just now noticing that you are morbidly obese… like you don’t just wake up one morning and gain 200 pounds… Now we have someone attempting to sue Taco Bell the greatest place on earth because they are questioning what goes into their meat?

A rat-ritto

AWESOME

Ok first off you are not being anyone’s hero here dick head, people who eat Taco bell every day (yah what about it…) don’t giving a flying rats ass (which may or may not be in the crunch wrap) what’s in it because it’s delicious, and the people like you who are stuck up  scallywags who care about what they eat despite the fact it’s an organism your mouth stay away from it anyways.  So who are you helping? Your broke ass wallet, your pathetic excuse for an ego? You are just an ass hole and YOU SIR OR MADEM ARE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS VERY COUNTRY. Instead of working hard for your money and contributing to society you choose to abuse our legal system and clog it up so bad that it takes time away from families waiting for a conviction for the person who killed their loved one. You sir are a major ass hole and should be tarred a feathered in the streets

Public embarrassment is
the best form of
punishment

(how did we ever get away from that awesome tradition). Are you that hard up for money that you have to degrade the very fabric of our culture, to abuse our legal system with your nonsensical lawsuit. The attorney who has taken this case needs to be disbarred, this is not a whistle blower case nor are you blowing the top off of the American fast food market and It’s lack of sensitivity towards ass holes who care what they eat when they are only paying 99 FUCKING CENTS FOR A BURRITO! (you get what you pay for, and you get something amazeballs so get over it). We are turning into a country of whining lazy ass bags, who have nothing better to do then go after one another for frivolous reasons, and bitch and moan about our own circumstances without doing anything about it (Glenn Beck….). We need to publicly ridicule this person to the point that they David Carradine themselves, it’s the only way to stop behavior like this. We all have to ban together and patronize these people so bad that no one in their right mind would file such a idiotic law suite ever again. People like this need to know we will not stand by and let them rape our legal system, but instead throw them in jail for purposing such an idea so that T-bone and Wayne dog can rape them... (It’s not rape if you get off…)

He's waiting for you....

F you Congress and your Bullshit... We are all sick of your lies...

Well I am use to getting let down by my government but this time I am sooooo pissed that phone calls are being made to several offices,. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU IN CONGRESS.. not one of you is worth anything…no one has common sense all of you are total lying assholes. There is such a disconnect between you and your constituents that it makes me think you probably don’t even remember who or where you are representing.  While the majority of my disappointment and anger go towards the Republican party filibustering a bill to help 9/11 rescores because you want to go home for Christmas.. you son’s of bitches… YOU NEVER WORK… YOU DON’T DO SHIT… and yet you can’t hang around till Christmas and come back after Christmas to get YOUR work done.. all of you need to take a good hard look at yourself and realize that being a piece shit may be cool now but you will eventually pay… KARMA IS A BITCH… It makes me absolute sick to think that you all think what you are doing is good.. and even more sick the people will inevitably vote you back into office.. Do you not have common sense… do you not see that nothing is getting done and that you all are ruining this once proud country with your fighting back and forth and greediness… The only way we as sane minded Americans  can get us back on track is pledging to never EVERE vote Incumbents back into office.. switch your parties to Independents of green parties or whatever, write to congress tell them how much they suck balls, and start doing good in your communities all by yourself. We can’t help this country if we can’t help our neighbors, give to the poor (not the crack heads) demand respect for your vote (let the politicians know how you feel about what they are doing) and fight back with your voice (a.k.a trash talk the shit out of who you hate!) We have to band together to fix this… and we HAVE to fix this, children deserve free education through college, public service workers need more money and full health care, every American  is owed the right to free health care, stop the needless money drops to Israel, stop the war and bring them home, get rid of the electoral college and make every vote count, put an end to lobbyists, place huge tax increase on companies that ship jobs off shore, tax the shit out of imports, give American farmers the money they need to run a productive farm, and stop with the bullshit and the run arounds in our government…. WE HAVE TO DO THIS TOGETHER AND IF ENOUGH OF US GET PISSED OF SOMEONE IS BOUND TO LISTEN. It’s a long list of things but it’s a list of things that can be done, and should be done… stand up and yell for what you want and kick everyone out next election.. make them accountable for their actions…

The cruise ship from HELL...

Yah not so much..
under rated movie btw..

Ok.. all you people that were “stranded” on a F’ING CRUISE SHIP.. with no power need to shut up.. and the media.. (d-bag a-holes) need to stop running the story under headlines like “terror at sea” or “nightmare at sea” because to me even if you don’t have lights your still on a f’ing cruise ship stocked with month’s worth of food (ok frank and beans are good people) and ALCOHOL that’s like a great dream to me!!!! Why would no one turn this in to a drunk fest.. back at WVU when ever the lights went out ment it was a black out… So what do these people do whine and complain about how bad it was… and on top of that you get all your money back plus another F’ING CRUISE!!!...  if I was there I would be looting the shit out of every unsecured food and beverage area (what we are in a recession)… You ass holes are making Americans look like sissy French d-bags… suck it up… I can not wait to see how many law suits are filled on this.. I am sure some scum bag ambulance chasseing lawyers are all up and down on this like Kanye on Taylors mic…. And if you are even so much as settled for any dollar amount you should be David Carradine’ed.. but with out the subsequent hand job… I wish I was even lucky enough to have enjoyed 2 days at sea with lights… or even 5 days at sea with no lights.. YOU PEOPLE NEED TO SUCK IT UP.. why don’t you go and talk to some Haitians and see if they can sympathize with you and your ordeal.. .

Who needs lights when your blackout...

Go back under the bridge you came from.. troll

Can't put make up
on a pig.. but it
can eat it..

I always try to find the best in someone (no really…) and I always like to think that every one if done up well enough can be pretty, or that she has at least one redeeming astatically pleasing quality ( yah your face not so much, but nice… tatters..). However there are those rare occasions (like every night in smc Wal-Mart) that you find creatures.. .soo… just unfortunate (unlike myself because I am well.. perfect ) that you have to turn your head and just say wtf…. Now some of these horribly  disfigured people to their advantage have some of the most sparkling personalities of any one ( well that’s what I tell myself it’s… not like I would talk to them in public or anything) which kind of makes up for the horrible facial deformity (or the fact that the majority of the world is not

ohh gawd.. i feel the ugly...

Helen Kellerish and thus can see you) which has befallen them… I was how ever like most wild beast tamers (a.k.a normal people who shop at Wal-Mart after dark) shocked to come across a creature so hideous… so perverse and rude I could not believe myself….. like when Steve Erwin got killed by of all things a sting ray ( what that was a deff wtf moment in my life…) Sooo I find myself wondering the isles of Wal-Mart in search for yarn ( what I crochet.. classy I know..) and I happened to find myself in the makeup isle (funny because there was not enough foundation in the tri-state area to cover this beast face with) and there in front of me is a



accurate ill. of
troll beast



horrible  beast demon… pink scrunchy,  waldorf bangs (the puff bangs.. it’s a somd thing..) a black baby phat shirt stretched so thin I could count the  thread count .. jeggings.. well sausage casings.. ( how does one go about growing ankle rolls…) greasy dirty skin and hair and a dirty bra strap slupped to the side,and flip flops.. so deformed by years of waddling around on the sides of of her feet… it’s was made even worse by the fact she was talking to her skinny ( as in I do meth when I am not doing meth)

She only smokes
to heal the wounds of ther b/f
beating her up..
cut her some slack... jesus

white trash friend about how she was going to “f that whore up tomorrow night.. and she don’t have a baby by Jonathan.. because she to ugly for him to rump”.. and yes… she said rump… on one hand this conversation served to solve a mystery of mine… what it was called when to nasty people have sex it’s now I know it’s  called rumping… ( urben dictionary.. I think soo…) so as I stare in disillusion at this snarffel-otholis..it turns and looks at me with her yellow green snaggles peaking through her chapped thin lips and  gives a smerk… a f’ing sperk…you know a head goes back eyes squint.. kinda look.. I stand there with sheer disgust on my face for what seems like 30 years starring into this  demon beats gaze wishing and hoping for this creature to be put out of it’s misery by a wayward fork lift or falling shelf… it then breaks my stare turns and waddles away.. ok anti-climatic I know but none the less disturbing.. the point or rather moral of this story is if you are fat and ugly don’t be mean.. a superior personality is the absolute only thing that will  keep you from the fringe of society… I know it must be hard.. waking up every morning wondering why your parents had to create the perfect storm of ugliness (kanye west).. but try hard… it’s all you got it’s all you got….

Thought of the day...

Michael Vick you suck.. you suck at life and now you suck at your only redeeming quality..  your athleticism.. you suck at football.. it's sad that you had you glory years back in college... (VT is for douche bags anyways...) and it’s bad enough you tortured, knew about torturing, or profited off of torturing of animals.. but now you have gone and sucked at your meal ticket.. I hope they find you one day giving hand jobs for crack in hot-lanta… and a “where are they now “exposé on ESPN reveals your infinity for dressing in woman’s clothing and moon lighting at seedy gay bars is Thailand… I also would like to watch a pack of pit bulls eat your winer off.. that is all…  my thought of the day…

run bitch run...
the dog I mean..
catch his ass...

I can burn it if I want to,,..

OK... first off Terry Jones (the dude who wants to burn the quran) is an American... so in America... we can do shit like that.. just like everyone is fighting for religious freedom over the mosaq being built right next to ground zero (stupid ass ass hole.. I blogged about it before it was a national issue fyi) lets just as vigorously protect Terry Jones right to be crazy and burn what ever the hell he wants! OK yes it's insensitive... unnecessary and just tad but crazy (ahh. people do crazy things when they are religious) but it's his right! I doubt that there were any protests in Afghanistan about burning our flag, killing our men and woman, or even burning the bible... Why do we care then what some crazy does... saying that this will provoke terrorists is bullshit.. they already hate us.. they already have hundreds of reasons to kill us so who cares if we piss off the already pissed off some more and if the media (bunch of d-bag ass holes) really cared about the safety of our troops they wouldn't of run the story (bunch of hypocritical dicks if you ask me)! The root of every problem  in America is political correctness... people are not allowed to just say what they want with out offending someone and everyone jumping down your throat about it. We are afraid to piss any one off yet no one cares if they piss us off. Yes we should try and be the exemplary standard for a society but at what cost, we loose how we really feel, for fear of offending someone when we choose to defect from the thrown to live in a what use to be a utopia of free thinking and free ideas no one cared about pissing off the worlds biggest power...  and I for one will not subscribe to the political correctness idea (i mean i can't even remember that last time I thought hey wonder if that will hurt someones feelings?) I am not saying go around and just blast people like hey your a Muslim your fucking crazy, or hey you are a christian your fucking crazy... (I mean if you want to by all means) but we need to talk, not just be malicious.. but  talk. And we need to remember that we have that right in this country and it's about time people start exercising it and protecting it on both sides of an argument.

Glenn Beck.. you's a BITCH

I just felt like bitching today, and it just so happens my moms' facebook status thread gave me the forum.. (yah I stalk you to mom). I love my mom but she is a demarcate…(I know we can't all be perfect) and her and her friends where talking about how much they hate Glen Beck (who the hell doesn't) when this one weird chick started in on my mom about how he was great and people who follow Obama like he is the "second coming of Christ" (god help us) are the problem (ok I wouldn't have a problem with Obama if he had just come out and said.. yes I am a politician, I am going to act like a politician and am going to talk out of both sides of my mouth.. at least then I would know what I was dealing with.. when someone pretends to be something they are not then I have a problem like me.. I am a total bitch but I don't pretend not to be total bitch just so I can catch you off guard one day... Obama)...so I decided to stick up for my mother… she is a very intelligent woman however is not that interested in the politico world, so to defend her I posted this in rebuttal to her goof troop teabagger attacker (see I am a good daughter)

shh.. don't tell.. but I don't
even believe the shit that
comes out of mouth.. I
just really like money...
and being popular...
even if it means being
king of dumbasses

First off I am a REPUBLICAN.. and a pretty hardcore one (sorry mom) however, I find it absolutely appalling that Glenn Beck and his Teabagger friends have now become the face of my political party. Restoring America in Glenn Beck and his anarchist teabaggers terms means nothing more the griping about how they lost the election and want a republican back in office.. and to that who will even run Huckabee, McCain, Palin.. we have no stand out stars in our party and it sickens me that people like them have tainted the republican name, and more then likely chased off any suitable candidates. The GOP needs to get the reins on these crazies, and restore order and sanity to the party and stop just trying to get press, who are we attracting to our party anyways? Anyone who subscribes to the beliefs and ratings of Glenn Beck is better off not voting in any election because I fear their mental capacities are lacking. Stop your bitching and do something, your little rallies are not doing anything but furthering the gap between the parties and is making bipartisanship nothing more then a dream. Besides.. everyone wants lower taxes, everyone wants the troops home (or give them the means to do something) so what else do you have to say… raa.. raa.. raa… we need a republican.. we had our chance and we had a good run this what the system was built on checks and balances and turn over of power… get over it and stop bothering me with your stupid signs, and soap box ideologies… btw…The only thing Glen Beck is intelligent about is marketing, his rants insight fear and propagate hysteria and conspiracy theories to which the conservative fanatical's just eat up.

I just want to say it again I HATE YOU GLENN BECK.. you are ugly,crazy but a hell of marketing genius.. if only those powers could go to good use.. what is that old saying.. if you had a brain you would be dangerous.. yep that applies....

It's Like Christmas Morning Every Month...

YAY!

sooo.. this statement rings true to any sexually active female out there.... I think that a good ole pregnancy scare actually makes your period that much more enjoyable (why do I always have these.. paranoid.. maybe).. you don't mind the cramps (better then labor pains) you don't mind the period panties(so classy) and you deff don't mind the hemorrhaging... all that worry from the week before makes your period so much easier to deal with and actually makes it a very welcomed visitor. I don't really know what I will be like on that god forsaken day I wake up and realize holynut sack I am f'ed... maybe it will be a good day (score I knew that bathroom big Ben dragged me into was like a fertility statute) or it will be the scariest day of my life prob going to be a bit of both… none the less.. that’s what’s on my mind, that and the choco-taco I will be eating for dinner tonight to quell these chocolate cravings…

I can actually hear my
ass getting bigger...

I AM AN AMERICAN!!!

This is me and my new car...
that I can't afford
to put gas in....

Soooo… I officially feel like an American, I just got a new car (Volvo bitch) moved into a new place and racked the credit card up with new clothes..(yah know you gotta look fly on the job) and now I have been laid off (if only I had just been laid.. things would be better) so yes now with mounting bills and a depleting bank account I am officially a causality of the economic climate (were not sub-tropic any more MD its just sub-fucked). So I have gone through every ad in the Washington post, indeed.com and other local websites applied for jobs I am way over qualified for ( welcome to Wal-Mart may be my new saying) and for jobs I have no experience in (applying to jobs is a numbers game, I throw enough paper at it something will happen right.. ahhhh…) and still nothing has happened. I feel like I am stuck in this ever churning whirl pool of f’ery with no end in site.

Is this suppose to be inspirational…
if so I want that guys old job…cuz he blows at it

I have a bachelors degree (which is just as useful to put on your resume as your favorite color) 3 plus years of admin assistant (yah I am good at being someone’s bitch) and other various volunteer projects and yet I am as marketable to companies as a 1 legged dog. I am competing for jobs with people who have 10+ years in the field or people who said fuck it 3 years ago and got a masters degree in their field and am told by HR to just keep trying.

It’s really a loose loose situation, even the good ole boy systems of getting a job through a friend isn’t working because everyone who has a job has 5 friends in need of a job. I just really do not know what to do, like many recent grads I will prob go back to slinging drinks to other people who have lost their jobs, and passing out my resume to every one at the bar (here’s your beer, and my resume do with it what you will..) but it really just doesn’t seem fair, my friends who didn’t even try to go to college (yah we all thought you were slackers.. look who's laughing now) have great jobs and here I am an honor student with nothing to show for it but bills. I thought going to college guaranteed you a job when you got out… it took me 9 months just to find the job I just got laid off from and now I have to wait another 9 months to find another meaningless job that has

nothing to do with my education or even interests… (WTF WORLD) I keep trying to tell myself everything happens for a reason, but what if the only reason that this happened was just to show me how messed up my life is.. or why I should have watched what I ate and just became a stripper ( titties are always in high demand) honestly it’s looking bleak out there. Not that I would wish bad on anyone else I just would hope that others are going through what I am right now (misery loves company). If anything this should serve as a cautionary tale to those still in school or even those working, nothing in this world is for sure so always have backups, and be prepared for the worst.