F you Congress and your Bullshit... We are all sick of your lies...

Well I am use to getting let down by my government but this time I am sooooo pissed that phone calls are being made to several offices,. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU IN CONGRESS.. not one of you is worth anything…no one has common sense all of you are total lying assholes. There is such a disconnect between you and your constituents that it makes me think you probably don’t even remember who or where you are representing.  While the majority of my disappointment and anger go towards the Republican party filibustering a bill to help 9/11 rescores because you want to go home for Christmas.. you son’s of bitches… YOU NEVER WORK… YOU DON’T DO SHIT… and yet you can’t hang around till Christmas and come back after Christmas to get YOUR work done.. all of you need to take a good hard look at yourself and realize that being a piece shit may be cool now but you will eventually pay… KARMA IS A BITCH… It makes me absolute sick to think that you all think what you are doing is good.. and even more sick the people will inevitably vote you back into office.. Do you not have common sense… do you not see that nothing is getting done and that you all are ruining this once proud country with your fighting back and forth and greediness… The only way we as sane minded Americans  can get us back on track is pledging to never EVERE vote Incumbents back into office.. switch your parties to Independents of green parties or whatever, write to congress tell them how much they suck balls, and start doing good in your communities all by yourself. We can’t help this country if we can’t help our neighbors, give to the poor (not the crack heads) demand respect for your vote (let the politicians know how you feel about what they are doing) and fight back with your voice (a.k.a trash talk the shit out of who you hate!) We have to band together to fix this… and we HAVE to fix this, children deserve free education through college, public service workers need more money and full health care, every American  is owed the right to free health care, stop the needless money drops to Israel, stop the war and bring them home, get rid of the electoral college and make every vote count, put an end to lobbyists, place huge tax increase on companies that ship jobs off shore, tax the shit out of imports, give American farmers the money they need to run a productive farm, and stop with the bullshit and the run arounds in our government…. WE HAVE TO DO THIS TOGETHER AND IF ENOUGH OF US GET PISSED OF SOMEONE IS BOUND TO LISTEN. It’s a long list of things but it’s a list of things that can be done, and should be done… stand up and yell for what you want and kick everyone out next election.. make them accountable for their actions…

The cruise ship from HELL...

Yah not so much..
under rated movie btw..

Ok.. all you people that were “stranded” on a F’ING CRUISE SHIP.. with no power need to shut up.. and the media.. (d-bag a-holes) need to stop running the story under headlines like “terror at sea” or “nightmare at sea” because to me even if you don’t have lights your still on a f’ing cruise ship stocked with month’s worth of food (ok frank and beans are good people) and ALCOHOL that’s like a great dream to me!!!! Why would no one turn this in to a drunk fest.. back at WVU when ever the lights went out ment it was a black out… So what do these people do whine and complain about how bad it was… and on top of that you get all your money back plus another F’ING CRUISE!!!...  if I was there I would be looting the shit out of every unsecured food and beverage area (what we are in a recession)… You ass holes are making Americans look like sissy French d-bags… suck it up… I can not wait to see how many law suits are filled on this.. I am sure some scum bag ambulance chasseing lawyers are all up and down on this like Kanye on Taylors mic…. And if you are even so much as settled for any dollar amount you should be David Carradine’ed.. but with out the subsequent hand job… I wish I was even lucky enough to have enjoyed 2 days at sea with lights… or even 5 days at sea with no lights.. YOU PEOPLE NEED TO SUCK IT UP.. why don’t you go and talk to some Haitians and see if they can sympathize with you and your ordeal.. .

Who needs lights when your blackout...

Go back under the bridge you came from.. troll

Can't put make up
on a pig.. but it
can eat it..

I always try to find the best in someone (no really…) and I always like to think that every one if done up well enough can be pretty, or that she has at least one redeeming astatically pleasing quality ( yah your face not so much, but nice… tatters..). However there are those rare occasions (like every night in smc Wal-Mart) that you find creatures.. .soo… just unfortunate (unlike myself because I am well.. perfect ) that you have to turn your head and just say wtf…. Now some of these horribly  disfigured people to their advantage have some of the most sparkling personalities of any one ( well that’s what I tell myself it’s… not like I would talk to them in public or anything) which kind of makes up for the horrible facial deformity (or the fact that the majority of the world is not

ohh gawd.. i feel the ugly...

Helen Kellerish and thus can see you) which has befallen them… I was how ever like most wild beast tamers (a.k.a normal people who shop at Wal-Mart after dark) shocked to come across a creature so hideous… so perverse and rude I could not believe myself….. like when Steve Erwin got killed by of all things a sting ray ( what that was a deff wtf moment in my life…) Sooo I find myself wondering the isles of Wal-Mart in search for yarn ( what I crochet.. classy I know..) and I happened to find myself in the makeup isle (funny because there was not enough foundation in the tri-state area to cover this beast face with) and there in front of me is a



accurate ill. of
troll beast



horrible  beast demon… pink scrunchy,  waldorf bangs (the puff bangs.. it’s a somd thing..) a black baby phat shirt stretched so thin I could count the  thread count .. jeggings.. well sausage casings.. ( how does one go about growing ankle rolls…) greasy dirty skin and hair and a dirty bra strap slupped to the side,and flip flops.. so deformed by years of waddling around on the sides of of her feet… it’s was made even worse by the fact she was talking to her skinny ( as in I do meth when I am not doing meth)

She only smokes
to heal the wounds of ther b/f
beating her up..
cut her some slack... jesus

white trash friend about how she was going to “f that whore up tomorrow night.. and she don’t have a baby by Jonathan.. because she to ugly for him to rump”.. and yes… she said rump… on one hand this conversation served to solve a mystery of mine… what it was called when to nasty people have sex it’s now I know it’s  called rumping… ( urben dictionary.. I think soo…) so as I stare in disillusion at this snarffel-otholis..it turns and looks at me with her yellow green snaggles peaking through her chapped thin lips and  gives a smerk… a f’ing sperk…you know a head goes back eyes squint.. kinda look.. I stand there with sheer disgust on my face for what seems like 30 years starring into this  demon beats gaze wishing and hoping for this creature to be put out of it’s misery by a wayward fork lift or falling shelf… it then breaks my stare turns and waddles away.. ok anti-climatic I know but none the less disturbing.. the point or rather moral of this story is if you are fat and ugly don’t be mean.. a superior personality is the absolute only thing that will  keep you from the fringe of society… I know it must be hard.. waking up every morning wondering why your parents had to create the perfect storm of ugliness (kanye west).. but try hard… it’s all you got it’s all you got….

Thought of the day...

Michael Vick you suck.. you suck at life and now you suck at your only redeeming quality..  your athleticism.. you suck at football.. it's sad that you had you glory years back in college... (VT is for douche bags anyways...) and it’s bad enough you tortured, knew about torturing, or profited off of torturing of animals.. but now you have gone and sucked at your meal ticket.. I hope they find you one day giving hand jobs for crack in hot-lanta… and a “where are they now “exposé on ESPN reveals your infinity for dressing in woman’s clothing and moon lighting at seedy gay bars is Thailand… I also would like to watch a pack of pit bulls eat your winer off.. that is all…  my thought of the day…

run bitch run...
the dog I mean..
catch his ass...

I can burn it if I want to,,..

OK... first off Terry Jones (the dude who wants to burn the quran) is an American... so in America... we can do shit like that.. just like everyone is fighting for religious freedom over the mosaq being built right next to ground zero (stupid ass ass hole.. I blogged about it before it was a national issue fyi) lets just as vigorously protect Terry Jones right to be crazy and burn what ever the hell he wants! OK yes it's insensitive... unnecessary and just tad but crazy (ahh. people do crazy things when they are religious) but it's his right! I doubt that there were any protests in Afghanistan about burning our flag, killing our men and woman, or even burning the bible... Why do we care then what some crazy does... saying that this will provoke terrorists is bullshit.. they already hate us.. they already have hundreds of reasons to kill us so who cares if we piss off the already pissed off some more and if the media (bunch of d-bag ass holes) really cared about the safety of our troops they wouldn't of run the story (bunch of hypocritical dicks if you ask me)! The root of every problem  in America is political correctness... people are not allowed to just say what they want with out offending someone and everyone jumping down your throat about it. We are afraid to piss any one off yet no one cares if they piss us off. Yes we should try and be the exemplary standard for a society but at what cost, we loose how we really feel, for fear of offending someone when we choose to defect from the thrown to live in a what use to be a utopia of free thinking and free ideas no one cared about pissing off the worlds biggest power...  and I for one will not subscribe to the political correctness idea (i mean i can't even remember that last time I thought hey wonder if that will hurt someones feelings?) I am not saying go around and just blast people like hey your a Muslim your fucking crazy, or hey you are a christian your fucking crazy... (I mean if you want to by all means) but we need to talk, not just be malicious.. but  talk. And we need to remember that we have that right in this country and it's about time people start exercising it and protecting it on both sides of an argument.

Glenn Beck.. you's a BITCH

I just felt like bitching today, and it just so happens my moms' facebook status thread gave me the forum.. (yah I stalk you to mom). I love my mom but she is a demarcate…(I know we can't all be perfect) and her and her friends where talking about how much they hate Glen Beck (who the hell doesn't) when this one weird chick started in on my mom about how he was great and people who follow Obama like he is the "second coming of Christ" (god help us) are the problem (ok I wouldn't have a problem with Obama if he had just come out and said.. yes I am a politician, I am going to act like a politician and am going to talk out of both sides of my mouth.. at least then I would know what I was dealing with.. when someone pretends to be something they are not then I have a problem like me.. I am a total bitch but I don't pretend not to be total bitch just so I can catch you off guard one day... Obama)...so I decided to stick up for my mother… she is a very intelligent woman however is not that interested in the politico world, so to defend her I posted this in rebuttal to her goof troop teabagger attacker (see I am a good daughter)

shh.. don't tell.. but I don't
even believe the shit that
comes out of mouth.. I
just really like money...
and being popular...
even if it means being
king of dumbasses

First off I am a REPUBLICAN.. and a pretty hardcore one (sorry mom) however, I find it absolutely appalling that Glenn Beck and his Teabagger friends have now become the face of my political party. Restoring America in Glenn Beck and his anarchist teabaggers terms means nothing more the griping about how they lost the election and want a republican back in office.. and to that who will even run Huckabee, McCain, Palin.. we have no stand out stars in our party and it sickens me that people like them have tainted the republican name, and more then likely chased off any suitable candidates. The GOP needs to get the reins on these crazies, and restore order and sanity to the party and stop just trying to get press, who are we attracting to our party anyways? Anyone who subscribes to the beliefs and ratings of Glenn Beck is better off not voting in any election because I fear their mental capacities are lacking. Stop your bitching and do something, your little rallies are not doing anything but furthering the gap between the parties and is making bipartisanship nothing more then a dream. Besides.. everyone wants lower taxes, everyone wants the troops home (or give them the means to do something) so what else do you have to say… raa.. raa.. raa… we need a republican.. we had our chance and we had a good run this what the system was built on checks and balances and turn over of power… get over it and stop bothering me with your stupid signs, and soap box ideologies… btw…The only thing Glen Beck is intelligent about is marketing, his rants insight fear and propagate hysteria and conspiracy theories to which the conservative fanatical's just eat up.

I just want to say it again I HATE YOU GLENN BECK.. you are ugly,crazy but a hell of marketing genius.. if only those powers could go to good use.. what is that old saying.. if you had a brain you would be dangerous.. yep that applies....

It's Like Christmas Morning Every Month...

YAY!

sooo.. this statement rings true to any sexually active female out there.... I think that a good ole pregnancy scare actually makes your period that much more enjoyable (why do I always have these.. paranoid.. maybe).. you don't mind the cramps (better then labor pains) you don't mind the period panties(so classy) and you deff don't mind the hemorrhaging... all that worry from the week before makes your period so much easier to deal with and actually makes it a very welcomed visitor. I don't really know what I will be like on that god forsaken day I wake up and realize holynut sack I am f'ed... maybe it will be a good day (score I knew that bathroom big Ben dragged me into was like a fertility statute) or it will be the scariest day of my life prob going to be a bit of both… none the less.. that’s what’s on my mind, that and the choco-taco I will be eating for dinner tonight to quell these chocolate cravings…

I can actually hear my
ass getting bigger...

I AM AN AMERICAN!!!

This is me and my new car...
that I can't afford
to put gas in....

Soooo… I officially feel like an American, I just got a new car (Volvo bitch) moved into a new place and racked the credit card up with new clothes..(yah know you gotta look fly on the job) and now I have been laid off (if only I had just been laid.. things would be better) so yes now with mounting bills and a depleting bank account I am officially a causality of the economic climate (were not sub-tropic any more MD its just sub-fucked). So I have gone through every ad in the Washington post, indeed.com and other local websites applied for jobs I am way over qualified for ( welcome to Wal-Mart may be my new saying) and for jobs I have no experience in (applying to jobs is a numbers game, I throw enough paper at it something will happen right.. ahhhh…) and still nothing has happened. I feel like I am stuck in this ever churning whirl pool of f’ery with no end in site.

Is this suppose to be inspirational…
if so I want that guys old job…cuz he blows at it

I have a bachelors degree (which is just as useful to put on your resume as your favorite color) 3 plus years of admin assistant (yah I am good at being someone’s bitch) and other various volunteer projects and yet I am as marketable to companies as a 1 legged dog. I am competing for jobs with people who have 10+ years in the field or people who said fuck it 3 years ago and got a masters degree in their field and am told by HR to just keep trying.

It’s really a loose loose situation, even the good ole boy systems of getting a job through a friend isn’t working because everyone who has a job has 5 friends in need of a job. I just really do not know what to do, like many recent grads I will prob go back to slinging drinks to other people who have lost their jobs, and passing out my resume to every one at the bar (here’s your beer, and my resume do with it what you will..) but it really just doesn’t seem fair, my friends who didn’t even try to go to college (yah we all thought you were slackers.. look who's laughing now) have great jobs and here I am an honor student with nothing to show for it but bills. I thought going to college guaranteed you a job when you got out… it took me 9 months just to find the job I just got laid off from and now I have to wait another 9 months to find another meaningless job that has

nothing to do with my education or even interests… (WTF WORLD) I keep trying to tell myself everything happens for a reason, but what if the only reason that this happened was just to show me how messed up my life is.. or why I should have watched what I ate and just became a stripper ( titties are always in high demand) honestly it’s looking bleak out there. Not that I would wish bad on anyone else I just would hope that others are going through what I am right now (misery loves company). If anything this should serve as a cautionary tale to those still in school or even those working, nothing in this world is for sure so always have backups, and be prepared for the worst.

You have to be shitting me....

Ok I am all about religious freedom (kinda what our country was founded on) but I am not for ignorance or over all dumbassness… the fact that an Islamic center is going up in NY is great, a place for Muslims to gather, keep more kids off the streets and maybe even help non-Muslims warm up to Muslims
(umm… hey I like your head wrap…?) But the fact that it is only blocks away from the former world trade center is not cool at all. I don’t know who on the NY planning and zoning let this even get this far but they should be fired (was it let an insensitive jack ass run the office day). Lets’ just rubb salt into a still very open wound, and make people who lost loved ones uncomfortable.. yah that just down right evil. Why would Muslims even want that there… (yah let’s put it next to a place that our people leveled and killed thousands.. that will get people to like us) Why don’t we just have a Japanese American memorial put up in Pearl Harbor or have a Hitler statue right next to a Jewish community center they make about as much sense as this. Come on people why would you even start this, you know everyone either hates, dislikes or is scared by you and you want to place a Muslim center next to the worst US tragedy ever…. You are f’ing stupid… I rally hope and kinda know that this will not happen. I hope people see that this is not about religion this is about respect and just over all common sense…

http://www.jpost.com/International/Article.aspx?id=183845

Get some money...

Trying to find a job in this economy sucks so before you decided to hook it up or become a black market organ dealer here are a few good sites and some tips to help you land your dream job!

Tip 1: Make the resume the shitz..

Make your resume stand out, add sleek professional boarders or lines to your first page of your resume. Keep your resume short and sweet and use buzz words (logistical support, procurement of supplies, coordination, basically write you resume on word then use the useful synonyms button to use bigger words) associated with the job.

Keep your resume short and sweet and under 2 pages preferably (it varies depending on how old you are and how many jobs you have had). Make sure if you have a second page to keep your name, address and phone number on the top in case the pages get separated the reviewer knows which page goes with which.

Tailor each resume you send out to that particular job. Beef up the areas of previous work the coincided with duties that would be preformed in the job you are looking for. (don’t forget employers lie to you about what they can offer, so it’s ok to fudge a little in your descriptions of previous job duties)

Tip 2: Cover it up…
Cover letters are great they give the reviewer a better sense of who you are and give you a place to explain in greater detail responsibilities held in other positions. It also gives you a place to talk about extra circular activities you may be involved in and what you are looking for in a job (I want to do minimal work and get paid big bucks .. prob not a good idea)

Tip 3: Just Googel it
When applying for jobs Google the position name and see what other jobs come up. This way you can see other job listings with descriptions of duties to be performed and you can incorporate them in to your resume.
Googel the place you want to work for, if you want to work with beer just go to the Budweiser site and look for careers. Also don’t be afraid to ask people who have jobs you would like how they got their job.

Tip 4: Look classy
It amazes me how some people “dress up” if you are unsure of your fashion sense crosscheck it with your friends (well if you dress like shit your friends prob do too) or go online and see what “Professional clothing looks like” don’t wear stuff that looks cheap because then you look cheap (i.e floral prints from walmart) and wash your damn hair.

Tip5: Be a kiss ass…
Always send a follow up letter to your reviewer specifically, thanking them for the time they spent to interview you and for the opportunity to be consider for that position. Even if you don’t get the job they are more likely to remember you when you apply for another position. It also shows follow through and that you are someone who does work and is appreciative




Craigs list
http://smd.craigslist.org/jjj/

Monster
http://home.monster.com/

Indeed.com
http://www.indeed.com/

USA Jobs
http://www.usajobs.opm.gov/

Somd.com
http://www.somd.com/

Washington post
http://www.blogger.com/goog_1096192912

1885194186
 

No... that's what I waited for... let down...

It's funny cause it's true..
wait... what?

Is that necessary really…

Let me just throw this out there sex is great, those who have sex, lots of it (I <3 hoes) know what I am talking about. It is idolized in our culture, everyone is expected to give it up on prom night, or to your first bf in the back of his hoopty (you drive a civic.. oh my panties fell off) or even just your first love. Yet even with all the propaganda and expectations set on teens to do the dirty in high school (better get good at it before college) some people out there still hold fast to the archaic 1930’s view that sex should be saved for the one you marry. I am all about only giving it up to people you are in love with (what I fall in love a lot), but honestly hold off on it all together? Here is my prob with that, when and if I ever get married ( to my

she had it right

billionaire with a foot in the grave and hand on his wallet) I think I would want to know everything there is to know about that person including what is in the neither region. I would not want my wedding night to be awkward and scary and filled with a potentially horrid surprise, I mean your exhausted from the days activities (well for a virgin all that non-dancing and drinking of grape juice) you prob are sweaty as all hell from the formal wear and now you have to get down to it? *SPOILER ALERT* your first time is not all that great, you feel awkward you don’t know what to do you are left with this sense of that’s it, and it can really hurt for girls and guys (a virgin is tighter then White House security) and this is what you want to go through on the happiest day of your life? What if you get into bed with the dude and realize he has the smallest penis on earth (well I guess you wouldn’t have anything to reference it to but you prob would still be like wtf) or what if it is the biggest thing you have ever seen

 (GODZILLA run for the hills..what Khloe Kardashian prob thought the first time Lamar wiped it out) and now you are stuck with an amputee or seabiscuit over there? No that’s not what you want, even if you are of this school of thought you should be able to get down with it while you are engaged I mean you’re almost there. This way your wedding night can be fun and you don’t have all that stress about performing on your mind. Sex whether christian conservatives believe it or not is a big part of the relationship and is about a lot more then making more little church goers. It’s about intimacy being able to be that comfortable with someone (not just comfortable enough to poop in front of them) that you can get buck naked and be put into positions that accentuate your fupa roll, makes your ass look big, and god knows what else epic adventures you get into. None the less its about bonding and love not just procreation, if you look at it that way I can only imagine the sex you have very utilitarian and cold (like Darth Vader banging out Ben Stein). Sex is natural prob one of the mist natural things we as humans do.. well next to killing one another and to hide yourself from such a great thing for god knows what reason is not necessarily a good thing, not to mention you are looked at pretty funny when you blurt out on your 21 birthday that you have never been laid.

Save the awkward moment for someone you prob won’t ever see again and the good stuff for your husband!

Facebook you get me into more trouble then vodka...

Wtf…so my mom calls me at WORK (like I don’t listen to you bitch enough outside of work) to yell at me about what SOMEONE ELSE wrote on my wall… like I have any control over it (yah I am not a creeper who deletes wall posts). Which then led me to delete all persons related to me (apparently my family members get offended by things I say.. surprise surprise…) friends parents (who I only added because they asked and I felt bad) and any one over the age of 40… I can still remember the first run in I had with facebook when a dude at the bar asked “I like the way you pop you collar are you on facebook?” (ok in 2005 the double polo pooped collar look was so in) Yep those were the good ole days of facebook when only people from college could be on it (and when Farmville didn’t rule the world)

umm.. yum?

and share info about house parties and going on’s on campus… It was a utopia of stalking… the cute guy in soc. class, the biznatch that lives across the hall, the shady dude who buys you beer, and other people of interest in school were just a quick search away. Then it was opened up to everyone, sure the majority of people were just people whom didn’t have a college e-mail but were none the less peers utilizing this social network for analogous reason as I. Then the facebook gods unleashed this untamed beast to all… soon everyone’s facebook was inundated with friends request from grandma, my friends stalker mom (you know the one who made their kid call from the land line because they didn’t believe where you were.. that wasn’t easy to get around) my moms friends, down to old creepy dudes with messages reading “hey I’m new to town want to hang out?” I seriously contemplated deleting my account on several occasions such as when the relationship status .changed and the x got pissed, when I accidently deleted a friend which led to a real friend deletion from life (it’s not legit until it’s on facebook) to this incident involving my mother.. so I am stupid for adding her to begin with but honestly is any place safe to talk to your friends? Before when you wrote in your diary slamming your rents and talking about your first kiss(so 1994) all you had to protect this adverse information was the dinky 50 cent lock which gave you a complete sense

I love ponys... and writting hatefull things..

of false security, now you have a electronic hacker proof password with symbols, numbers, and letters that you rotate every week (paranoid.. no way) and you still are not safe. Employers stalk your facebook, moms stalk facebook, law enforcement stalks facebook, grandma stalks facebook… so really the only safe place to talk to anyone now is face to face (so 1950) and who wants to do that when you can hide behind the faceless computer screen. I just don’t understand how something so harmless can turn into such a big deal, why are people so f’ing sensitive anymore, and are sensitive to things that don’t even directly effect them. There are way worse things on the internet then my friends post about “hey are we getting some p in our v’s tonight or what” no one is forcing you to read my wall posts no more then they are forcing you to get on rotten.com (uber nasty.. but interesting to say the least). How me and my friends talk is more then likely offensive to over half of the worlds population ( what up skank whore not much whoreface…)but who cares.. it’s not about you, we are not screaming it into your face and if we are not concerned with what we say to each other then why should you be? It’s just words people… words that have nothing do with you!! I use to see a shirt all the time at concerts (when I use to go them and not mind having other peoples sweat rubbed all over me) that said “if it’s too loud your too old” I am going to change it around and make a new shirt that reads “ if it’s to offensive then your just to old” facebook ruins lives and yet it’s a harder addiction to break then crack

(Hi my names Jim and I am addicted to facebook)

but facebook also comes with some great pros like connecting with friends you haven’t seen for awhile, seeing pictures of your friends vaca’s, sharing birthday well wishes down to making fun of emo kids cry baby posts. But with all that good is it really outweighing the bad or the dark side of facebook? I don’t know you tell me…. I guess much like every one navigated away from myspace as will we navigate away from facebook on to greener safer pastures free from farmville and parents.

thats hardcore...

nice....

I had just gotten out of my car and I start to hear music, so I look around to see what douche bag teenager was jammin out at O-dark-thirty and to my amazement the music was coming from the motorcycle at a red light with a fat old dude on it. So as I shrug taking in the meaningless randomness of it all I notice what song it is, IT’S GLAMBERT.. Adam Lambert from AI… for those of you who have not spent time in a gay bar recently. I f’ing love him and so do old fat dude’s on motorcycles

Your kid was always bat shit crazy... sorry

CREEPER ALERT

So while this subject has not really been in the news as of late I thought I would bring it up before some psycho, crazy, loner, goth ( goth as in balck trench coat and dirty not the lil girl with the Team Jacobe shirt on because I so am that girl)

not them...

 kid shoots his dog and blames it on MW2 (which is the best game ever kiss my ass if you don’t think so). I always think it funny how people are so touchy about racial profiling or even just stereotyping at all, sure it propagates racism, elitism, ignorance yahta yahta yahta but in some instances it would be really useful. Ever wonder why when the mug shot is released of a child molester or school shooter you look at it and are like” yah you totally look like a child molester or creepo school shooter”? You never see their mug shot and say oh you are perfectly normal and well adjusted. This is why kids and pedi creepos (like the ones with the 1980’s polo shirt buttoned up to the top with a pedi stash)

Yep, prob doing something illegal in
his mom's basement

should at the very least be monitored more. It’s not stereotyping if the stereotyping is correct, then it was just a good hypothesis. Also who in the F are these creepers parents? Like do you not know your son looks like a school shooter, did you not notice him crying to a cradle of filth CD? The parents of the columbine shooter acted like they had no idea their kid was a creep, or withdrawn or had two 9mils, 4 shotguns, a sawed off and a TEC 9 under his bed. What mother of a teen does not snoop through everything their child owns at least 2 times a day (oh la la la my son is such a trickster hiding these fake guns under his bed.. silly boy)? Then they get on TV and talk about how video games like

we have come so far with cgi...

 Doom or Duke Nukem (great game you see boobies) did this to their loving not at all socially withdrawn son. Your kid was bat shit crazy before he played the game and was bat shit crazy after he played the game. Video games if anything gave your bat shit crazy kid maybe some ideas but if you think your kid will pick up some really bad habits like oh I don’t know killing people, then you have more problems then keeping them away from halo 3. On the other hand parents who try to shield their kids from the real world or even fantasy i.e. video games, harry potter books, weegie boards( because you so now that El Diablo and Milton Bradley are in kahoot’s)

exact replica of satan's board

1. question their ability to parent and how they brought up their own children, and don't believe that their child has the skills or the knowledge to understand and separate reality from the games they play (yay.. lets jump off this cliff we will just respawn and get that sweet accident prone title) or 2. they are total weirdos who want to micro manage their children’s life so bad, to the point that they intentionally limit and sensor what their child see’s, hear and ultimately

What a wonderful Utopia

what they think... thus filling their heads with their own beliefs and understandings about those beliefs so that the child is incapable of making their own conclusions and thus lives a life of a naive drone whom propagates 1 unfiltered belief on life… ok rant done.. but still wtf just talk to your kid, be the over baring, over protective parent you know you want to be or are you just to lazy and don’t give a damn? Which brings me to the V Tech kid who even went for psychiatric help and no one did anything like where were your parents, why did they not know enough about you to sense that something was wrong. My rents are so far up my ass I can’t breath with out my mom nagging at me about how I could do it better. Parents should realize that just like that dog that bit someone and now you are being sued, yah you are just as responsible for your child’s actions even though they are not as cute as Cujo gnawing on your neighbors face over there.

No one wants to take responsibility for anything anymore, we spend so much time trying to point the finger that we loose complete site of what we are even trying to pin on xbox. Parents just talk to your damn crazy kids, and crazy kids if you hate the world so much either go to Africa and live in a tribe you will be back in a week with a major attitude adjustment, or if you have too, only hurt yourself (I do not condone hurting yourself at all but I think you should really just suck it up and stop being such a puss everyone has problems) don’t bring others down with you.

WTF....

Blah Blah Blah..

Soooo... I have really had nothing to say... nothing (or no one) has pissed me off of late and unless John Stamos bursts through this door and kicks me in the tatter I don't think I will have anything worth while to talk about... Not that I wish for stupid crap to happen I just like it when it does (oh drama llama you are sooo fickel)

Just bring them home...

OK in general I like to talk about things not so heavy like boobs, one night stands and over all shenanigans, but today something that is very controversial and more then likely going to offend a lot of people (those who this offends you should really just go f off) pissed me off more so then normal. So it started when I woke up and heard that thousands of classified documents have been released regarding the war (hey thanks buddy you sure are doing a great job SSBI… gone). The documents range from covert operations to kill high up taliban (oh word wants me to capitalize that.. hahaha yah) figures (isn’t that like the point to kill them) to more civilian casualties then originally disclosed ( it’s sad but it’s war that happens). May I remind you of all the civilian and non civilian casualties we have lost since 9/11, sure there are those who will say “these people had nothing to do with that!” Well here is what I have to say, if you know that your son, daughter ,husband, friend, neighbor, enemy is in fact in the dessert/cave wondering taliban (hey I would be pissed too if I always had sand in my pants)

and don’t do anything about it then you are just as guilty as they are. Learn to control your own people, take reasonability for your people’s actions and do something. You all are killing each other over RELIGION (yah that makes sense) and it’s not even different religions, you all are the same damn thing… why does it matter. I want our Men and Woman home there is no helping these ignorant people, they are living with the same ideologies

 (ahhh the rain isn’t coming better sacrifice a goat) that we the western world had back in the dark ages and we all know how that worked out. Honestly how many times have we tried to hand over even the slightest of responsibility to them and they still can’t handle it. I am not saying that every one over there is worthless or unwilling to help (even though the vast majority are D-bags) but really how can we help a people who can’t or don’t want to help themselves. I know that many factors contributed to us going to war some bad (like oil or the fact war makes alot of people rich) some good (... loss for words) but regardless we are there and it’s not working. Sure woman are going to school again, and Saddam is gone but isn’t that enough… can’t we just leave. If we pull out it will not discredit those who have lost their lives there, but do we need to loose any more. The fact of the matter is they will always hate us (shit they hate themselves) so why are we over there pissing them off even more. We need to just walk away, and watch them from a far and make sure they don’t bother us, let them kill each other. If we were so concerned with them killing each other then why don’t we go into Africa and help them, or into south Korea (oh I know why…. they don’t have anything we need) and stop those oppressive regimes. There is nothing to gain by being there anymore, I want our people home and stop wasting money on those sub humans and spend money on the American people. Children die here from preventable dieses everyday, people are loosing their homes and yet all we want to do is throw money at trying to set up a government and improve the lives of those ignorant d-bags over there ( oh because I am so sure they will be our friends and have our back someday yah…). This is not a war that can be won, there is nothing worth while over there, we have done enough and it’s time to say there is nothing more we can do. Sure people will say “you all went over there and messed things up even more” ok not really.. they had shit before and theykinda sorta have less shit now.. so that’s an improvement, and who’s fault is that? Not ours, they can’t even keep corruption from their police departments (yah yah we have corruption too.. but we are not at killing everyone over it). I just want our men and woman home back to their families and the billions of dollars we ship over there used to improve the lives of Americans not the Iraqi’s’ or the afghans.. let them figure it out… let them deal with it. We gave them a frame work and when they are ready to realize religion is not worth dyeing over they know where to look for help. I just do not care about anyone over there or improving there lives, no one helps us everyone hates us because of this let’s just walk away and save lives on both sides. That is all…

Plan B.. Uh that was my plan A...

Lets face it shit happens… and sometimes this shit happens (inside you) late at night after a copious amounts of liquor has been consumed (jagger you are a cruel bitch lover). Every one has been in this position before (please say this isn’t just me) you wake up not sure where you are or who the f that is (nice……) and it’s time to sneak out with more stealth then the Jap’s on Dec 7th (you tricky lil f’ers).

You make your walk or rather your stumble or drive of shame home with the delightful taste of liquor and cigs on your breath (DUI officer.. no no I was drunk “last” night…), both are pretty bad because regardless, you are dressed in a hodgepodge of what you had on last night with make up smeared across your face so bad it would make the Joker proud. You stumble your way up to your room with all intentions of going back into your alcohol induced comma when it hits you… ohhh… we banged out…. You think to yourself did we bang out?… yah…. did we wrap it up?….meeehhhh I don’t know (oh you know you didn’t… drunk you is a lot skankyer then you would think) let’s air on the side of caution and say we didn’t (hey what ever helps you sleep at night… sluty McSlutterson) now you are faced with 2 problems. First problem you ask yourself did that dude look clean? Then you remember the

A must for any respectable college boy

frat paddle and the ever so popular “lend a hand” naked chicks poster vicariously placed over the bed (well you kinda remember it spinning over your head) and you realize yah he’s about as clean as Paris Hilton in her teens (come on no one is as dirty as she is now.. <3 u Paris). Well it’s Sunday and unless you can find a doctor willing to inject you with a years stock of penicillin in the next 10 mins then you're prob just screwed, move on no point in worrying about spilt milk (or aids.. yah that’s comparable) Go to the Gyno asap on Monday and call it a day. Ok second problem you are either to cheap or to lazy to stay on your regimen of prescribed birth control pills, and pulling a knocked up (great movie) is not really in the cards (CVS here we come). You began to immediately walk out of the room until you realize, hey I still look like a walking nightmare let’s not make this so obvious (standard leggings, flip flops and hoodie… check). You walk in to CVS looking like you are about to steal something and slink your way to the back… Of course there are no female pharmacists working (in reality everyone is going to judge regardless) so you whisper to the pharm. Tec. and ask for Plan B, you are then faced with the option of generic like $40.00 bucks aptly named next choice (why couldn’t they just call it opps, or last night yah… pill honestly)

or Plan B around $60.00 (yep they really want to kick you when you're down). This is were I will interject for a moment with  a fabulous little tale of what NOT to do… sooo I decided to go with the Plan B version (I wanted to feel like a rich slut and get the $60.00 one) he slides the box over the counter and as I look at it the box has changed and now you only have to take one pill instead of two. He begins with the standard shpill of side effects… this may make you sick, you may feel… I cut him off and blurt out oh new box that’s cool… he then pauses and looks at me with sheer disapproval in his eyes, shakes his head and rings me up… moral of the story don’t tell on yourself… but I digress… so you can buy either pill Plan B now only has one pill and Second Choice has two pills that you have to take in 12 hour segments (even though you can prob. take them in about 3 hours of each other and still feel like a champion). You take your box wrapped up in the lovely CVS “we care” bag, stop to buy a drink and slink your way back to your car where you immediately chug your drink and your pill (it’s not that you were in a rush to take the pill you were just really dehydrated). Now on your ride home you have time to collect your thoughts, and piece together what little you remember from the night before, so you check your phone to see who you drunk dialed (eww.. your ex) and then the camera, (it’s the only way I have of knowing what in the balls happened last night) and see some facebook worthy photos of you and your girls,

Yah that's a keeper....

 and 1 pic of the guy who you just had to blow $40-$60 bucks on (was he really worth it?... ha). Another word of caution don’t ever wake the dude up and mention “hey you wanna split the morning after pill?”… because 1. you don’t know what you told him last night (yah yah don’t worry I’m totally on the pill) and 2. that’s just down right awkward…. Just suck it up and get it yourself… After pulling yourself together and letting the reality of the situation sink in you pull a U’y and head straight to Taco Bell (Victory with a side of diarrhea.. to flush the toxins out form last night) and voew never to drink again (well until black out Tuesdays in two days I LOVE YOU WVU) While this story is comical to say the least it does happen, and you should learn from my mistakes and just try really hard to control drunk you and play it safe, or don’t get strange at all (hahahahah sorry I was just laughing hysterically at the prospect.. no ass.. haha yah…). So here are a few things to remember

1. STD’s do happen, and they will f with you and your life. So just play it safe.
2. While pregnancy is a wonderful thing it’s not so cool with a dude you can’t even remember his first name let alone what he looks like.
3. Don’t tell on your self cover your tracks and avoid awkward situations

Sorry this pic was to good to pass up!

4. FRAT BOYS ARE FILTHY FILTHY CREATERS…well most men are filthy beasts so just put that in your pocket and remind yourself here and there…

Now for any guys reading this story… Just don’t do it… no matter what she says it’s not cool… don’t do it (and you know what I am talking about… you and your man juice). You should play it safe too, wrap it up, after all if she’s coming home with you then this probably isn’t her first rodeo, and you don’t know what she has any more then you know what her last name is. Also don’t wake your dumb ass up if you see her trying to sneak out she didn’t wake you up for a reason… or if she does get you up… help her gather her things, and offer her a ride home don’t be a dick… (I mean you literally just violently and sloppily invaded her personal space... it’s the least you can do).

Everyone be smart and have fun…