Slutty white teeth

Keeping my teeth white
is my fav...

So I am all about haveing sparkling white teeth however I don’t like the taste of seaman ( yes seaman makes your teeth white).  And if any guy out there or some creepy home schooling chick ever wants to find out what man juice tastes like, swish around some Listerine Whiting mouth wash for a few seconds and you will understand why spitting is 85% more likely to occur then swallowing…  I wonder if the Listerine product research team ever got feedback from some chick like “ I loved the whitening effect from the mouth wash, and especially liked how the taste brought me back to many a college night!”.

and  natural flavors...

This also answered why 9 out 10 dentists only agreed on this product. The 10^th was a female dentist  who thought some horrible prank had been played on her, so she just dipped out after double dickering the CEO’s private bathroom.   I don’t know what the active ingredient is ( because I speak American, not Latin)  but I am pretty sure public pool water with a hint of sea salt were used for flavoring.  You know what I am talking about...

Christmas Time... In America



Yay Jewish Christmas stuff....

With Christmas only week’s away it seems only fitting to address the issues that arise while preparing ones self for the most widely celebrated Holiday in the world. The newest tradition for Christmas (in America at least, don’t know if other countries deal with things of this nature) is now the annual Politically Correct fueled fight over how to non-offensively celebrate your holiday. Every year some town is in an uproar because some overly sensitive d-bag (atheist, Christian Jewish alike) fights over how the town hall or some public building is decorated. A traditional manger scene is offensive to atheists and marginalizes the towns only Jewish Family, and generic non-denominational holiday decorations are offensive to Christians who think they are the only ones who can celebrate Christmas.



Sorry about that whole Jesus thing...



I just don’t get why seeing something as innocent as a manger scene or a Menorah invokes so much hate. When I see Christmas lights I don’t think “my god these people have killed Christ in Christmas” I think “oh sweet shiny stuff” likewise for when I see a giant lit up Menorah I don’t think (oh god these people killed Christ… oh wait…). The problem is not that people care so deeply about their holiday and it’s tradition it’s that people are assholes now a days and overly sensitive ones at that. Everyone is so stressed out from having to spend every dollar they have decorating their house to prove they can make the largest carbon footprint, 

Yup...

or buying a presents for secret Santa for that creepy dude in the office, or even spending all the money and time on this huge meal that takes 5 hours to make and only 15 minutes to eat and to hear about how dry the turkey was. Holidays are now only good for the excused gluttony and the excessive vacation time you can take without getting fired. These are the things that connect our Holiday celebrations. Lets look for common ground here, everyone likes to get shit housed on Christmas so maybe the symbol for non-denominational Christmas should be a drunk Santa

I hate my life as much
as I hate you...
which is alot...

or a really fat person since it’s socially acceptable to eat till you puke on Holidays. What about good old fashioned capitalistic Christmas where we don't care about anything but shaking the Christmas card to get the money out of it (Christans like money just as much as jews ok.. we jsut don't know how to save it like them), or waking up at the ass crack of dawn to open up presents. I for one also enjoy hooking up with some cynical dude with the ironic reindeer sweater I find at the office Christmas party. How about we all celebrate how much we like to torture our animals and dress them up for Holidays pretending that they too somehow love to celebrate this time of year ( wonder what religion my cats are...?)

I'm drunk, you look like santa.. shiz
about to get real

I think people enjoy marginalizing themselves now a days, unfortunately with the popularity and the deep rooted tradition in the Christmas Holiday people will undoubtedly find a reason to cause a problem. Everyone needs to put their big girl panties on and let others do and you do yourself… (well you know what I mean)

this was just too funny.... and deff not offensive

Someone has to much cheese in their taco....



How to keep a 187 classy



Once upon a time the concept of suing someone was taken as seriously as asking them to duel ( eh f you let’s shoot this out)It not only effected people finically but also called into question the very character of the person being sued. Flash forward 200 hundreds years and now it’s how poor,



I's gonna sue you's for givin
me dah runs taco bell



lazy, ignorant people get their money. Take that Fat ass d-bag who attempted to sue wackdonalds for making him fat, the kid was 300 plus and your just now noticing that you are morbidly obese… like you don’t just wake up one morning and gain 200 pounds… Now we have someone attempting to sue Taco Bell the greatest place on earth because they are questioning what goes into their meat?

A rat-ritto

AWESOME

Ok first off you are not being anyone’s hero here dick head, people who eat Taco bell every day (yah what about it…) don’t giving a flying rats ass (which may or may not be in the crunch wrap) what’s in it because it’s delicious, and the people like you who are stuck up  scallywags who care about what they eat despite the fact it’s an organism your mouth stay away from it anyways.  So who are you helping? Your broke ass wallet, your pathetic excuse for an ego? You are just an ass hole and YOU SIR OR MADEM ARE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS VERY COUNTRY. Instead of working hard for your money and contributing to society you choose to abuse our legal system and clog it up so bad that it takes time away from families waiting for a conviction for the person who killed their loved one. You sir are a major ass hole and should be tarred a feathered in the streets

Public embarrassment is
the best form of
punishment

(how did we ever get away from that awesome tradition). Are you that hard up for money that you have to degrade the very fabric of our culture, to abuse our legal system with your nonsensical lawsuit. The attorney who has taken this case needs to be disbarred, this is not a whistle blower case nor are you blowing the top off of the American fast food market and It’s lack of sensitivity towards ass holes who care what they eat when they are only paying 99 FUCKING CENTS FOR A BURRITO! (you get what you pay for, and you get something amazeballs so get over it). We are turning into a country of whining lazy ass bags, who have nothing better to do then go after one another for frivolous reasons, and bitch and moan about our own circumstances without doing anything about it (Glenn Beck….). We need to publicly ridicule this person to the point that they David Carradine themselves, it’s the only way to stop behavior like this. We all have to ban together and patronize these people so bad that no one in their right mind would file such a idiotic law suite ever again. People like this need to know we will not stand by and let them rape our legal system, but instead throw them in jail for purposing such an idea so that T-bone and Wayne dog can rape them... (It’s not rape if you get off…)

He's waiting for you....